Dear Mom at the ASNC's WAAAD Event

I'll admit it, I wasn't paying attention. I've never had to worry about how Aaron was with other kids, especially inside a bounce house (his own personal heaven). I was busy texting his father about what a great event the Autism Society of NC had setup to celebrate World Autism Awareness & Acceptance Day. I could hear Aaron giggling as he ran through the obstacles so based on history that meant I had nothing to worry about. I heard someone that wasn't Aaron yell "ow" but it didn't for a second dawn on me that it was something I had to worry about. A few seconds later however, you made eye contact with me, smiled and said "I think we have some tension." At first I didn't quite understand what you were saying, but as I saw you take off to the door of the bounce house, I realized something was happening in there and my son was part of it.

My ability to process what came next seemed to simply disappear. You grabbed your son and pulled him from the bounce house and my stomach sank. His face was covered in blood. Even with his hands up to his nose/mouth it was still dripping everywhere. Aaron was following behind yelling at him... something about calling him a sucker... Wait... What?? It began to sink in; The realization that the blood that covered your son came at the hands of my son.

I was absolutely mortified. I had no idea what to say. Aaron, being only recently diagnosed as being on the spectrum, had never put his hands on another child like this. Sure, he had a history of aggressive behavior with us and the faculty at his school(s) but never had he been anything more than verbally nasty with his peers.

I was confused, scared and absolutely horrified. And you hugged me. You hugged me!? The mom of the boy who just popped your son's nose... you hugged me. You told me it was ok and that you'd been there before. You took a moment away from cleaning off your son's bloody face to focus on making sure I was ok!?! I was shocked and surprised and emotionally unable to handle what had just happened. I didn't know what to say. I couldn't find the right words to thank you for your kindness and unbelievable level of understanding.

I wanted to stay and focus on you and your child. I wanted to be absolutely sure he was ok. I wanted to be there for as long as you needed me and now I want you to know how sorry I am for having to walk away. 

The rest of the day I kept hoping we'd run into you again. I hoped the boys would get a chance to meet again and have apologies accepted. They'd probably become great friends! I wanted to thank you for your kindness and tell you how much the way you handled the situation had meant to me. I wanted to tell you how much I learned from you in that short few minutes and how inspired it made me to try to be the same way. I wanted to tell you that the experience showed me just how much of a family we "autism moms" really are. I wanted to tell you how it taught me that among each of us is a deep rooted understanding that things sometimes happen that are out of our control and how we react in those situations truly influences the outcome. I wanted to say so much but mostly, I wanted to tell you how sorry I am. 

Unfortunately, despite spending a few more hours at the event, we never did see you again. In the back of my head I can't help but wonder if you left after the incident but truly hope you and your boys were able to stay and enjoy the day.

Dear Fellow Autism Mom: Thank you for being you.

Sincerely,

"New" Autism Mom - Jenn