We are Warriors

Having a child with autism can mean accepting that things that should be easy, won't always be. Things that parents of "normal" children find to be second nature may require a certain amount of caution or maybe, better put, finesse. Autism is often referred to as an "invisible disability." Though most in the autism community frown upon the use of the "d word," there is good reason behind the phrase.

From the perspective of my friends and family, Aaron is just like any other 9-year old boy. They see the photos posted to social media of our happy times. The hear the stories of him conquering the world's tallest and fastest "Giga Coaster" or the fun we had visiting a children's museum. It's what they don't see, what isn't shared, that makes his autism invisible.

It's the simple things really. The things that come so easily for most children, and their parents. Things that for us, can often result in a meltdown, regardless of being within our control or not.

It's time for bath? Prepare for at least 10 minutes of refusal, possibly followed by aggression. If we do manage to get him in the tub he'll be happy as can be, but when it's time to get clean, get ready for it all to begin again.

Time to brush teeth? Good luck with that.

Grocery shopping at Walmart? There will be an in-store meltdown if you don't stop by the toy section first. If funds don't allow for that, go alone.

Time to call the grandparents but they aren't answering? Meltdown eminent! Keep trying and say a prayer to the connection gods.

Time to eat but the menu isn't appealing? Get out a box of mac-n-cheese!

WiFi down? There will be a meltdown for the entire 2 minutes it takes to resolve it, and then it'll be as if nothing happened.

Game locked up on the computer? Watch closely because a fist is about to hit the laptop, possibly killing yet another hard drive.

Change of plans? Oh boy! Come up with something equally as impressive fast!

McDonald's is out of the current Happy Meal toy that was expected? Unacceptable! Commence meltdown.

You get the idea...

These are all things that we've had to learn how to approach in different ways. Sometimes we are successful in avoiding the expected response. Sometimes not.

A parent with a child on the spectrum typically finds themselves walking on eggshells the majority of the day. It isn't until our children are asleep that we can breathe and by then, we are exhausted. We live in the moment, always looking ahead, anticipating things as if we have another sense. But, parents of autistic children aren't super heroes, we are warriors. We fight an invisible battle each day, remembering that our children are different, not less.